It's Still Science Hall to Me

Performed 1982

Sung to the tune of It's Still Rock and Roll to Me

It was written by Art Benjamin (1st stanza) and either Dan Klein or Steve Lammert (2nd stanza). I (Ron Josephson) remember throwing in a line somewhere, just for good measure.

What's the matter with the folks in Warner
Can't you tell that they're out of touch,
Even though the school could use some money
What they did was a bit too much.
Dr. Cyert in a state of mental numbness,
Named our biggest building after SOME RICH ALUMNUS!
Everybody's talking 'bout the new name funny
But it's still Science Hall to me.

Oh, It doesn't matter what they say in the Tartan
It's the dumbest thing we've ever seen,
He was just another gent, not a former president,
And he wasn't even made a dean...
Plain multimillionaire Wean.

[Insert incredible drum roll by Rob Farrell here]

Don't you think that it sounds kinda funny
With "Humanities and Social Weans,"
Do you think that they can just change labels
'Cause a guy's worth a million beans,
Even if your last name sounds kinda funny,
If you give the school a whole lot of money,
The next thing they'll do is name a building after you
It's still Science Hall to me.

Everybody's talking 'bout the new name funny
But it's still Science Hall to me.

Literary notes:

In Fall of 1981 the university administration announced the name change from Science Hall to Wean Hall after Mr. Wean gave a pile of money to CMU. We could not, in all good conscience, let this philanthropic deed go unanswered.

Science Hall may not be the largest building on campus anymore after the acquisition of the B. of M. complex (Hamburg Hall ?!). Oddly enough, Mr. Hamburg made cracks about his own funny name (and likely references to "the Hamburger") at the dedication.

Nobody in the audience got the crack about Humanities and Social Weans. The Pikas kept asking me about it afterwards, at Greek Swing.