If I could talk to the faculty,
Just imagine it,
Seeing eye to eye with CIT.
Imagine talking with Vanhorn or
Anyone in Warner,
What a neat achievement it would be.
If I could talk to the faculty,
Learn their languages,
Study everyone from Young to Blank.
I would take notes on Herbert Simon,
Also any course that I'm in,
Not to mention also Cyert, Cox and Swank.
I would relax with faculty in Physics,
And I'd learn facts I never knew before.
If people ask me, "Who's at your apartment?"
The Math Department,
And Moore.
If I made 'small talk' with Biologists
And Psychologists,
I might earn a place in history.
If I could walk with the faculty,
Talk with the faculty,
Share a piece of chalk with the faculty,
And they could talk to me.
If I could mark a text with architects,
And sharing intellects,
Not a sour statement would you hear,
Or roasting hot dogs by the fire,
While we're telling Oscar Mayer
That we've seen enough balogna for a year.
If I could wine and dine with Jay Divine,
Think what fun we'd have
Arguing about Philosophy.
Or have a bagel or pastrami
With Shapiro and Midani,
Then inviting maybe one or two for tea.
If I could talk to the faculty,
Just imagine it.
That's a day I truly long to see,
When we can walk with the faculty,
Talk with the faculty,
Grunt and squeak and squalk with the faculty,
And they can talk to me!